I really do not know why I am writing this, for who; and whether it even will serve another. I just want to put it “out there”
Maybe not to give someone space to heal. I do feel you need to be in a physical presence for that. Rather to clear the way a bit for someone “out there” on their personal healing route. That no matter how any other try to understand; it is never possible to completely grasp how profound the journey is and how unique to every single individual.
You can never help someone to heal. Never. You, and each and everyone out there, has to take this journey on alone, being just to redefine old outdated beliefs, finding your Authentic Self, or Heal from personal traumatic experiences
I really thought I had this in the bag, until a friend handed me the much talked over book ” Women who run with wolves”
Please don’t stop reading.
I was super excited, as this is seen as the Bible for Women. Taking her on a journey, rewilding herself.
I had to read the first chapter twice. I was shaken in; and up to the very core of my soul. I, unknowingly to what I am doing, went into the desert of my psyche some time ago already. Walking. Picking up the bones. I walked and walked. Stumbled so many times. Nearly given up even more times. Many more times I thought that some of the bones are missing for ever.
I walked some more. I can even say I felt the burn of the sun. I blistered my soles. My lips cracked. I finally had them all. And made the journey back to the cave.
I remember laying them out (I only realise now) to form a perfect skeleton. I remember starting to sing. Singing over my bones, the song I chose…..
And this is where my experience changed.
I never (then) saw what happened. I just knew I have taken a major step on my Healing Path. And that I feel authentic. Many times calling myself a queen. And that is what we as girls are in any case.
Throughout time- reading, exploring schools of thought, pondering about opinions – I often wondered now which Spirit Animal am I ?? Just couldn’t resonate completely with any. Just never could find the comfortable cosy “fit”. So connecting with The Wolf and the “Wild” in this book, made me question myself again.
On came Chapter 2.
The story of Blue Beard. Actually remember reading it somewhere as a teen. And an interesting opinion then about it too…
I felt emotions of Fear and Anger between the lines. Please don’t stop reading…
I felt that this book is written for women who want to take their Power back.
From who or what ?? No one can touch the Power of a Woman. No one, but that woman alone, can do anything with it. It is like a Magic Wand. Only effective I the hand of its owner.
You can only hide it from others, which results in being hidden from yourself as well.
The question is, how you going to use that, once you found it again
I am convinced, that if you really going to think about it….. you have a room with a tiny, eager to stain your partner with blood too, key on your bunch, if you haven’t gone and pick up some bones yet; and feeding from your resentment, pain and bitterness of things that went wrong.
Yet again don’t stop reading or crucify me. I know that some things happen to women that leaves her crippled. Not scared. Things happen to men too. They also carry baggage. Too heavy to handle with the sparce coping meganisms they were taught: “being men, you fight” and “big boys don’t cry”.
That chaos behind that small door just might be the same pain that we as girls feel. Now we see their beards being blue. Them as the enemy.
I decided to go back to the cave. I need to “see”
And it was profound
I did not see bones connecting, flesh forming, or any animal materialising. I saw the bones changing into crystal dust. Going up into a spiral and I recognised my Higher Self materialising. And I saw a Priestess. All knowing. Ancient Wisdom to be Taught, Altruistic love, with the Power to truly Heal and Forgive.
I realise that this might offend many. This was not written to criticise this acclaimed book, nor condemn women who made this their own. This is not written to turn away from so many crimes and injustice against women. I am a woman too and I have cried bitter tears with many broken women in front of me. This was written to share an experience, facilitated by this book. I salute this book. Helping me take the final steps to wholeness and my true Authentic Self
Now for Chapter 3……
And maybe a re-read of Chapter 2……
Love and Light